To the friends who carried me through when I became a full-time carer

When my mum was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, my life changed overnight. I became her sole carer in my early 40s, giving up my full-time job and taking on cooking, helping her move around the house, taking her to appointments and managing the household.

I was mentally drained, lonely and often running on chai, with very little rest. Those early days were a blur of trial and error: learning to cook proper Indian meals from scratch, surviving on langar from the gurdwara, and living with the constant fear, What if this is it for my mum?

I remember sitting at home, staring at the same four walls, feeling overwhelmed and like I was falling apart inside. I lost friendships because many people didn’t understand the exhaustion and isolation of caring, but I gained three people who became family.

carer, caregiving, cancer, full-time carer, burnout, loneliness, gurdwara, langar, indian cooking, family