I took my 30-year-old son to Hawaii and we set ground rules

I live in New York City and my 30-year-old son, Alec, lives in Southern California. We both have busy lives, so when I suggested a mother-son vacation I made clear we needed ground rules: approach the trip as equals and share expenses. I gifted his plane ticket with miles and we split the rest.

We weighed destinations and settled on Hawaii. Alec had four days off over Memorial Day Weekend and wanted to relax at a resort and eat poke; I wanted somewhere not too hot after suffering heatstroke in Greece and hoped for nearby yoga. Alec, a Top Chef fan, found that Sheldon Simeon would be the visiting chef at the Ritz-Carlton O'ahu, Turtle Bay, the Saturday night we would be there, and we booked the dinner and the stay.

We also agreed to balance time together with time apart. Each morning Alec surfed while I swam laps; he joined a tennis clinic and I took a lei-making workshop. For budget reasons we shared a room, but an ocean-view patio gave each of us space to read and relax.

United States, O'ahu, Turtle Bay

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