Should my girlfriend make better use of our shared calendar?

Jordan says he asked his partner Charlene to share calendars so they can plan their lives together, after six years living together. He finds her three separate, colour-coded calendars hard to read and wants advance notice when she has people round; he often comes home to strangers discussing knitting or work politics and dislikes being unexpectedly social at home.

Charlene says the idea of sharing every activity makes her feel “a bit sick” and that she values independent lives. She agreed to share calendars to appease Jordan but prefers to run bigger plans past him in person or use a written kitchen calendar; she denies having random people from the internet in the house and points out she hosts female friends while Jordan rarely hosts his male friends.

Readers offered a range of compromises. Some suggested a kitchen calendar for the big things and a brief morning chat, arguing total diary sharing feels intrusive; others said a shared calendar won’t change Jordan’s preference for a quieter life.

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