Raising young children while losing my dad to Alzheimer's

My mom called with my dad's test results: a cognitive score of 17 out of 30, and by November 2019 the diagnosis was official. I was eight months pregnant with my first baby in Brooklyn when we got the call—my dad had Alzheimer's. He was 66. He had been a quiet, humble otolaryngologist who built a free clinic, traveled to Guatemala to help build an orphanage and provide medical care, and volunteered at the local homeless shelter.

He kept journals and margins full of thoughts and told us we'd never lose something if we always put it back. When we cleared his house before the sale, I sat at his big white desk and read folders labeled quotes, book ideas, Bible study, purpose of life, patient thank-yous.

I became his memory holder. Now I am pregnant again with my third child and raising two kids who are discovering themselves while caring for a dad who is losing himself. At dinner I cut food for my 3‑year‑old and then do the same for my father; I sign my kids up for school and set up care for him.

alzheimer's, dementia, caregiving, caregiver stress, family caregiving, memory loss, cognitive score, diagnosis, pregnant, brooklyn