Behavior-specific praise eased our hardest toddler battles

Bedtime was a struggle with my toddler. A technique I found online—behavior-specific praise, the practice of explicitly praising positive behaviors—changed how our family handled tantrums. As an associate professor of literacy, I learned to make praise more specific than "Good job!": "I loved the way you cleaned up after playing.

Look at how clear the floor is!" Dr. Alan Kazdin says delivering praise with excitement and physical touch can amplify its impact. In schools, increasing behavior-specific praise raises on-task behavior, and the strategy is embedded in many parenting programs. We focused on one behavior at a time.

To stop our son from jumping on the bed, we clarified the rule and praised him when he complied: "I loved how you stopped jumping on the bed when we asked." The praise was happy, often with a hug, and it took time, but the problem resolved by age three. When he needs medicine, we pour it into a drink he chooses, praise each big sip, and celebrate when he finishes; he enjoys showing it off.

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