A visit to China exposed a mother to different family parenting styles

Grace Cong Sui and her daughter traveled from California to Qingdao to celebrate Lunar New Year and be with extended family. In one living-room moment an aunt chased her granddaughter with a spoon and a bowl of rice, slipping bite after bite into the child’s mouth while the little girl’s eyes stayed fixed on the TV.

I said, "You shouldn't feed her like that," but my mother shot me a look from across the room and I fell silent. As a mother in Los Angeles with no family nearby, I had leaned on parenting books, expert advice, and trial and error. By age two my daughter was encouraged to feed herself, I protected uninterrupted independent play, I met tantrums with calm explanations rather than distractions, and I limited sugar.

Back in China, however, my parents happily took over: they found extra layers before I noticed my daughter was cold, packed bedding for the local kindergarten she attended during our stay, and gave me space to wander the city and reconnect with friends.

China, Qingdao

parenting styles, lunar, new year, qingdao, china, grace, extended family, independent play, feeding practices, los angeles