Treating my dad with dementia like a customer helped

My 91-year-old West-Indian father, a wiry US Army veteran with Alzheimer's-related dementia, had grown more cantankerous and sometimes cursed in frustration. I began greeting him with a smile and found he was likelier to finish breakfast, take his medication, and let me help him with hygiene.

The idea came after reading a 2011 National Institutes of Health study about a recognition bias favoring positive faces in older adults. Drawing on years in retail, I started treating him like a client — pro bono — greeting him with as genuine a grin as I could and recalling moments from our shared past to spark recognition.

It did not always work. Sometimes confusion or agitation would lead to petulant whining and tantrums. In those moments I relied on customer-service techniques: present a professional smile, give him time for the mood to pass, and remember that his shrinking attention span often erases the episode within minutes.

United States

dementia, alzheimer's, caregiving, eldercare, smile, recognition bias, nih study, customer service, veteran, medication